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050223 - SENSE OF LOSS by Vram R.Nalbandian
SENSE OF LOSS by Vram R.Nalbandian
It has been a long time that I did not write about what I think and about my feelings and about things around me, in general, and Armenians, in particular. I don't know what made me start writing now, maybe is boredom or simply because these feelings and ideas are weighing heavy on my soul and I have to get them out before I burst.
I did not even think of a headline for this article, I would discover it as these pour of ideas is over and I have this article in perspective, if ever it will be. I haven't the slightest idea about the subject I am tackling now.

Well, I have this nasty feeling that I am missing everything in my life; my family, my entourage, my life in Cyprus, my friends at the theatrical group at Ayma, and a lot more, I just cannot put my finger on it now, but I have this uneasy sense of loss. It is disturbing and annoying.

I usually do not feel like this, I am a fighter by nature, I always fought odds and difficult situation, I think I was a fighter since the time I came to feel that I am alive, this was a long time ago of course. I always been able to adapt to situations and turn them to my advantage with hard work and by looking for things in my environment to assist me be at ease with it. But in this new one I am in now, I found nothing to make my difficult life easier. No Armenians around and hence no Armenian clubs or community, no social life, no friends and no any type of entertainment. After a while it becomes weighing on ones nerves and if not of a strong character, one could go in a very heavy & deep depression.

From the beginning of my career, I looked for opportunities for improvement, and I thought by finding work opportunities in odd places of the world I will be a successful person. Well, let me tell you, this is not a correct vision for a career. Once I left home and I left my entourage I was on a loosing path, irrespective of the high positions I held, money I earned, life I lived, they mean absolutely nothing comparing with the life I could have lived in my country, irrespective of lack of good jobs, wars, civil unrest and other factors.

I know this does not make sense to a lot of people who have not tried this type of life and have not experienced being out of their entourage and families. It will not make any sense to people who are in difficulties like finding a good job, having extra money and so on, as they will think that working abroad will be a solution, let me tell you; IT IS NOT.

Anyway you see it, you loose. You loose your sense of belonging and your sense of loving and being loved. People tend to forget about persons leaving their homes. Your best friends will forget all about you. Do not believe when they tell you the day you leave that they will keep in touch, very few do that. Do not believe when they will tell you that they will never forget you, after a while they do forget you. Do not believe when they tell you that they are loosing a very important element of the community, they tend to think after a while that you did not add anything, who was he? People are cruel when you are away; they only think about themselves, you will do the same when you are in their place.

The worst part of it is when you come home for a short vacation (Your job does not allow you long ones). Man! it is the toughest thing that could happen to you. First you start thinking when you are planning (for a very long time) your vacation that you will do this or that, that you will meet this or that friend, that you will be received with open arms, so to speak of, and surprise! Surprise! you are home and the telephone never rings, nobody even wants to see you, even your family makes you feel that you have disturbed their routine life. What a mess! You wish that you never came, never planned this damn vacation and never endured the financial and emotional cost of it.

And your sense of loss is even greater and heavier to carry.

Remedy? None that I can think of, I am just writing this as an example so that persons who are planning to leave their communities and go work abroad know exactly what they are getting themselves into, and do not think that they are catching the goose that is laying the golden egg by the neck. They are not and they will never be able to do so.


The Hairenik Online Radio will broadcast a special program dedicated to the anniversary of the Karabagh liberation movement. The program includes sample biographies of fallen heroes and songs about the movement, which will be interspersed by a reading of the names of more than 700 fallen freedom fighters.
The program will be broadcast on February 23 at 11.00 am and on February 24 at 4.00 pm (Eastern Standard Time). To listen to the program visit and click on "Radio". is a very interesting site on the Armenian Genocide and has many Turkish pages.
The following pages are the latest sections added recently.
Avo Gazel

Click here to view the speech by Melkonian Alumni Vice President Massis Der Partogh delivered at the Melkonian Alumni of Lebanon event that took place at the Haygazian University Hall on Saturday, January 22, 2005.
Dear Friends,
I am the author and host of the “Health” medical TV Programme which is aired by National television. I am writing you to let you know about the national award for the physicians of Armenia and the Diaspora. It is the pilot project, which has no precedent in the history of Armenia. The award will involve the best physicians or clinics of Armenia and the Diaspora, and non-medical professionals or organizations that have significant contributions to the development of medicine. The name of award will be “Vocation” and it will be granted annually. The rules stipulate to hand each nomination laureate the statuette and prize award during the official ceremony of the “Vocation” award. The project will contribute to the acknowledgement, propagation and union of the Armenian medical professionals worldwide, and will also regenerate the Armenian ideas and make them live. This large-scale program requires tangible expenses; amount sums up to $63,400. We avoid raising funds with the help of local companies because we want to guarantee fair and unbiased selection of nominees. This is the reason we seek sponsors in the Diaspora and would appreciate any contribution to the organization of the event.
We also kindly ask you to forward this e-mail to organizations or individuals, who can assist us to fulfil this project.
We also enclose the proposal and provisions of the “Vocation” national award and would welcome any ideas and suggestions regarding either the organisational issues or the provisions.
With the warmest wishes from Armenia
Thank you very much in advance.
Chairman of the “Vocation” award - Lilit Ohanyan - Tel: (374 9) 42 08 93

This corner is reserved for local artist Tatiana Ferahian's comic strips which are amalgamations of Armenian-Cypriot social commentaries, painted with her usual wry and ironic humour, to stimulate and encourage awareness and interest toward our community's everyday happenings.

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